The Gremlin On My Arm
Remember the movie Gremlins? Cute, evil, furry? Do not expose to sunlight, get wet, or feed after midnight? Well, I have one on my arm. And it’s now wet. So much for stuffing a plastic bag over it before showering. It leaked.
Would someone like to throw me a broken wrist shower? It’s disconcerting how much you can’t do with your dominant hand encased in fiberglass up past the elbow. And when I say dominant, I mean the other hand is useless. Makes a good case for being ambidextrous. Actually, maybe my left hand is passive/aggressive. I drop things, spill things, break things with regular ease.
Things you cannot do with a passive/aggressive non-dominant hand and a Gremlin wrapped around your good arm:
- Write
- Sign your name to a charge slip
- Wash portions of your body
- Wipe your butt effectively
- Drive safely
- Ride a scooter
- Knit
- Spin
- Crochet
- Type at speed
- Scratch your own back in that itchy spot
- Water plants with a watering can
- Tie your shoes
- Pour from a pitcher
- Wash dishes
- Brush your teeth
- Carry stuff that requires two hands
- Get up off the floor
- Wear anything that requires buttons, zippers, ties, snap, or closures of any kind
I’m sure I’ll find more. It’s only been four days.
