The official blog of Susan Landis-Steward, writer of whatever she likes, and co-founder of Puddletown Publishing Group

The Gremlin On My Arm


Remember the movie Gremlins? Cute, evil, furry? Do not expose to sunlight, get wet, or feed after midnight? Well, I have one on my arm. And it’s now wet. So much for stuffing a plastic bag over it before showering.  It leaked.

Would someone like to throw me a broken wrist shower? It’s disconcerting how much you can’t do with your dominant hand encased in fiberglass up past the elbow. And when I say dominant, I mean the other hand is useless. Makes a good case for being ambidextrous. Actually, maybe my left hand is passive/aggressive. I drop things, spill things, break things with regular ease.

Things you cannot do with a passive/aggressive non-dominant hand and a Gremlin wrapped around your good arm:

  • Write
  • Sign your name to a charge slip
  • Wash portions of your body
  • Wipe your butt effectively
  • Drive safely
  • Ride a scooter
  • Knit
  • Spin
  • Crochet
  • Type at speed
  • Scratch your own back in that itchy spot
  • Water plants with a watering can
  • Tie your shoes
  • Pour from a pitcher
  • Wash dishes
  • Brush your teeth
  • Carry stuff that requires two hands
  • Get up off the floor
  • Wear anything that requires buttons, zippers, ties, snap, or closures of any kind

I’m sure I’ll find more. It’s only been four days.

Advertisements

Tag Cloud

%d bloggers like this: