The official blog of Susan Landis-Steward, writer of whatever she likes, and co-founder of Puddletown Publishing Group

Posts tagged ‘cast’

The Gremlin On My Arm

Remember the movie Gremlins? Cute, evil, furry? Do not expose to sunlight, get wet, or feed after midnight? Well, I have one on my arm. And it’s now wet. So much for stuffing a plastic bag over it before showering.  It leaked.

Would someone like to throw me a broken wrist shower? It’s disconcerting how much you can’t do with your dominant hand encased in fiberglass up past the elbow. And when I say dominant, I mean the other hand is useless. Makes a good case for being ambidextrous. Actually, maybe my left hand is passive/aggressive. I drop things, spill things, break things with regular ease.

Things you cannot do with a passive/aggressive non-dominant hand and a Gremlin wrapped around your good arm:

  • Write
  • Sign your name to a charge slip
  • Wash portions of your body
  • Wipe your butt effectively
  • Drive safely
  • Ride a scooter
  • Knit
  • Spin
  • Crochet
  • Type at speed
  • Scratch your own back in that itchy spot
  • Water plants with a watering can
  • Tie your shoes
  • Pour from a pitcher
  • Wash dishes
  • Brush your teeth
  • Carry stuff that requires two hands
  • Get up off the floor
  • Wear anything that requires buttons, zippers, ties, snap, or closures of any kind

I’m sure I’ll find more. It’s only been four days.

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