Time magazine arrived today. I prefer Newsweek but for some reason we get Time. Today it was worth it. First, there was the article early in the magazine about how shrink-types have discovered that 50% of college students have psychiatric problems. This led to a discussion, at our local Scottish pub over steak and mushroom pie, about college students we have known and their various psychiatric problems. I was a college student with psychiatric problems, not the least of which was a roommate who was a psychology major and once diagnosed me, while taking an abnormal psych class, with “manic-depressive manic-depression.” Whatever that is. I was, to quote a psychiatrist friend of mine, JPN. (That’s Just Plain Nuts for you non-shrink types, and she swears she puts it in the charts of folks she can’t otherwise diagnose. Sort of like FLK – pediatrician talk for Funny Looking Kid. One of my kids was an FLK as an infant, but she turned out okay.)
Anyway, later on in Time magazine, and still at the Scottish pub although before the whiskey-laced cheesecake, was an article on a recent high school graduate who has changed her name to Cutout Dissection.com. Yes, you read that right. Dissection.com is her last name. Now, I thought it was a burden having a hyphenated last name. I once had this conversation with someone who needed my last name:
Me: It’s Landis-Steward [I actually said Landis hyphen Steward]
Idiot: How do you spell hyphen?
Me: No, it’s a hyphenated last name, like, you know, a dash.
Idiot: Dash? I thought you said it was hyphen.
You get the idea. But .com as part of your name? This young woman is writing college essays about why she changed her name to something insane. All I can say is Time missed a great layout opportunity!
But, here are the truly important thoughts on this:
No one should be allowed to:
a) change their name to something stupid
b) get a tattoo in any place that shows
c) pierce anything except ears and belly buttons
Until they a) turn 40 or b) prove they can become gainfully employed and stay that way. Nuff said.